| Some anger—at yourself, your spouse, your doctor, your baby, or life itself—may be necessary for you as you experience the grieving process. Like guilt, it can be harmful as well. Too much anger distracts from the purpose of grieving: to reconcile your past experiences with your future plans, to make sense out of what you have been through.
If you feel angry at God, don't make the mistake of thinking you can hide it from him! Some people who suffer a miscarriage or stillbirth feel that since they didn't have any control over their baby's death, it must be "God's fault." Others choose to stop believing in God altogether. It's true that God controls life—and the time of death for each one of us. He's also wise and loving enough to handle your emotions—even anger directed toward him.
But don't let yourself stop at the anger stage without moving forward. This will make you--and those you love--suffer more than necessary. Excessive anger does not honor the memory of your child or bring your child back. It stunts the healing process and keeps you from becoming whole again. Be careful to keep your anger under control, so that it cannot control you.
It has been helpful for me to remember that it is not God who is out to get me, but that hard things happen to everyone here on earth. God may have made the world perfect, but humanity has made millions of choices that have marred his perfect plan. God's perfect world did not include babies dying. He has also watched a Son die, so he understands your pain. Talk it out with him and let him bring you comfort.
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